Cleanin’ out ma Closet

Today, after class, I had two hours to kill before work so I went home to eat lunch then clean. Well, to be perfectly honest, I just cleaned my own closet. There were so many clothes laying around on my bed, floor, and desk that I’d use the time to clean instead of watch a re-run of Adventure Time.

clean up clean up everybody clean up

clean up clean up everybody clean up

I found some dresses I haven’t worn, and some dresses that were worn out. I ended up throwing out four pairs of shoes, two bags, and two dresses. It was very emotional for me… You have no idea how personal and attached I get to clothes. Okay, that came out wrong. I sound a bit superficial as if I get emotional attachment to materialistic things. What I mean is… AHEM, is that I have a lot of memories attached to certain materials; therefore, I have a hard time letting them go. Believe it or not, it took me close to half an hour for me to be emotionally and mentally prepared to say goodbye to my shoes, bags, and dresses.

What is very interesting about San Francisco , or particularly in the Inner Richmond where I reside, is that there is always someone who picks up those things as soon as I throw them out in the street. It’s good to know that they’re not going in the dump, but someone will have their feet and body warm. I just hope it’s not a bulky, hairy viking-looking man who will be wearing my dresses.

hmm, sir, I don't think baby blue is your color

hmm, sir, I don’t think baby blue is your color

Living away from home, there are a lot of responsibilities. You have to replace the empty toilet paper roll with a new one, dishes, laundry, vacuum etc. etc. There are so many things I’ve taken for granted. Especially my mom. She used to clean MY closet, put my old clothes in a box, and donated them. I didn’t have to meet face-to-face with my clothes, shoes, and purses to say goodbye. My mom bid them farewell for me. You don’t realize you had it good and that your parents are actually superheroes until you live on your own. Unlike me, who realized this until college, it’s nice to know that my siblings have already figured out our mother is a superhero already.

Bryan: My mom is so good at cleaning

His friend: All moms are! There is an unspeakable super power for moms.

Sophia: No wonder.  Jennifer Unni doesn’t have that power yet. She’s a lady not yet a woman.

sometimes I wish I were the same age as Bryan & Sophia

Sleep is the Cousin of Death

Screen shot 2013-10-30 at 6.38.36 PM

Nas said “sleep is the cousin of death.”That quote motivates me to run each day instead of the day running me. What is sleep, anyway? Midterms are finally done, but papers and exams are pouring like an endless stream of waterfall. Ohhhh….. FINALS. This semester, the finals are going to be my final finals. Get it? heheh…

There are people, other than Nas, who motivates me to endure and prevail my last stretch. Finals mean it’s close to holiday season, holiday season means vacation, and vacation means I get to visit home and reunite with my munchkins.

vicious cycle

vicious cycle

Last winter break, I went home on December 23rd, which is right before Christmas Eve. My flight to LAX from SFO got extremely delayed thus I arrived home very late at night and my siblings were asleep. I was so exhausted from finishing up my papers, taking tests, working, packing, and traveling that I completely crashed and went into a deep 16-hour slumber. You can say that I fell into a mini-coma.

Mi familia last Christmas

Mi familia last Christmas

I woke up to my siblings whispering questions to each other few feet away from me in my room around 2PM:

Bryan: When did mom pick her up from the airport?

Sophia: Maybe yesterday or this morning?

Bryan: Oh yeah! Do you hear her snoring?

Sophia: She doesn’t snore, remember?

Bryan: Breathing? Go check.

Sophia: Ah! Don’t push me!! I’m scared!

Bryan: Ah! Is she dead?!

Sophia: Dead?! She died?!

Me: Who’s dead? *yawn*

Sophia & Bryan: Ahhhhhh!!

Meet the munchkins: Bryan & Sophia

My munchkins

My Name is Nobody!

With only a month and a half away from my college graduation at University of San Francisco, I’m simultaneously excited and scared at the same time. My pastor, Pastor Mark, from Radiance Christian Church once had a sermon about “the 5 stages of adulthood.” The 1st stage is graduating college, 2nd is living independently, 3rd is being financially stable, 4th is getting married, then last stage is having a family.

I cannot believe it’s been over 4 years (I took a year of absence) and I’m already graduating. After I graduate, I will not perform my daily routine, which I’ve been trained to do my whole life. Wake up, get ready for school, go to school, meet some friends, go home. It doesn’t work like that anymore.

Find me wearing this at my Commencement!

Find me wearing this at my Commencement!

Even my best friends, who I have known my entire life, are not equal to me anymore. We will not be labeled as “students” anymore, but rather have professional titles. And there will always be a friend who will make more money than I will; vice versa, a friend who will make less dough than I will. Some will know more about medicine and someone else will be an expert on urban planning.

Questions questions questions! As if I’m not stressed out enough to finish finals and be emotionally and mentally prepared to say goodbye to my youth and college friends! AS IF! *insert Alicia Silverstein’s voice here from Clueless* What’s your major? What are you going to do after college? Are you going to grad school? Do you have an internship under your belt yet? Do you have any connections to that job you want? What company do you want to work for anyway? Are you going to stay in San Francisco? Are you going to go back home and live with your parents and ruin your life? Are you going to be a loser? Are you going to be a loser? Are you going to be a loser?

zzz

Sometimes, I feel like I should tell people, “My name is Nobody” like Odysseus.

In 2nd grade, my teacher made our class write a letter to our 18-year-old self. I added a dollar into the envelope just in case I become homeless or something. ANYWAY, Mrs. Villamarin really sent those letters out to us when we turned 18!

I couldn’t stop laughing and crying at the same time while I was reading what 8-year-old Jennifer had wrote to 18-year-old Jennifer. This summer, I went back home as a 22-year-old and pulled out that letter again.

ai m 22 yerz uld & ma name iz nubudy urrr durr

ai m 22 yerz uld & ma name iz nubudy urrr durr

As a kid, you think you will become an adult once you turn 18. As a kid, you think you will have your own car, your own house, and maybe even a husband or a wife. Oh, the innocence. I am able to say I’m already ready for my 2nd stage of adulthood because I already live away from my parents; however, they’re still helping me out with rent (ahhh SF please be nice to me), and paying my phone bills (eeek I’m so embarrassed). Even at the age of 22, I’m such a big baby! As I grow older, I am humbled and grateful of what my parents have done for me, and I cannot imagine reaching my last stage of adulthood: having  a family. Because once you have a family, it’s not your life anymore. Because once your mini-me pops into the world, it’s about them now. I cannot imagine taking care of someone else. I can barely take care of myself!

zzzz

Although… I gotta say… my 9 year old siblings are training me to become a good mommy one day. Except when they say something like this and I just want to turn into a turtle and hide in my shell forever:

Sophia: Unni (which means “big sister” in Korean), how old are you again?

Me: 22, why?

Sophia: How come you already growed up, but you’re still not “something”

y u not something?

y u not something?

Sad panda. Oh, the innocence…